Secret Tumblr Message: There’s a reason they call them doggie bags. Just saying.
“Fuck you, I’m not taking any more pictures. And get this ridiculous hat off my head. God damn humans are idiots.”
ARB for truth.
(Source: openareas)
Not to harp on it, but I’m trying to watch the Yankee game and all this damn hair is in my eyes. Your first order of business upon your return best include giving me a ride to the salon.
Also, I’m getting really used to Lisa being there for me. Hurry up and get home before I move upstairs.
Sorry, Bruno, I love you and all, but this hydrant is on my side of the property line.
Just gonna munch on this jumbone for a few more minutes, then I have to go to a meeting with the neighborhood dogs about how we can sneak in some barking after 10:00pm and whatnot. I have to tell you, though, I am a little embarassed. It’s my turn to take the minutes and I can’t see with all this hair in my eyes. You’d think the caregivers would take me for a nice grooming before they jetted off on another Golden State adventure. But you’d think wrong. Tuh.
I was walked,* then fed** and then my emotional needs were met.***
*more like shoved out the door in a polite manner
** food topped with turkey breast, sliced thin
*** per multiple repetitive pleases, requests, and reminders by the Caregivers. Like Aunt Lisa would need them.
Anonymous Asked
Where did you get that "killer's eye"? Probably from your primary caregiver #1. Killer's eye, right there. Stay the fuck back. I think it would do you good if you attacked that boy who lives in the bedroom and told him he needs to get a job. And tell the girl that should she move out and get an apartment. Killer's eye...you can do it. What do you think?
I would attack the boy in the bedroom, but he never comes out of it, and he let me sleep on his “bed.” I did, however, tell the girl to move out. KILLER’S EYE!
My latest issue of modern schnauzer hasn’t yet arrived, so this will have to do. Und der Kaffee… delish!
Helloooooooo Bruno.
Can you say fuckyeahpeaceandquiet?
Good grief I need a day of beauty.
Good morning.
Apparently my caregiver has no shame in showing off the fact that I have no shame. Teets!
Still life.
Hey that’s my #1 Caregiver! Yes, I wanna go out!! Yes, I’m the bestest doggie!! Miss you guys just a tiny bit. See you tomorrow. xoxo
It was a long night. Bruno can just forget about another party tonight (relax Caregiver, not here.) And yes, everything in the house is clean. Except for your son. He could use some work.
